Publish Date: May 19th 2010
Format: Audiobook, Unabridged
Author: Tera Lynn Childs
Narrated By: Emily Bauer
Website: Author’s Website
Lily is not an ordinary teenager. She’s the Thalassinian princess. The thing about Thalassinia, is that it is a kingdom of mermaids, making Lily a mermaid princess. A few years ago, she discovered she is half human, and has since been living on land and going to high school. As the princess, she has to find her mate to ascend the throne, and Lily has picked Brody, a boy she has had a crush on since she walked on land. But her next door neighbour, bad boy Quince, is getting in her way.
Mermaid stories are difficult to pull off. Especially when the characters are in high school, and you have to believe that a mermaid is in high school, navigating a crush and homework and school dances. Then she goes home, and it's like The Little Mermaid show from the 90s. There's underwater furniture and buildings and court proceedings...put in a human without a tail and it's hard to take seriously, but, it's a mermaid story. Yes, it will come off as a bit silly, and you have to take it for what it is. Some people, especially teens, are ok with that.
However, the story was really predictable. There were no twists or turns. It was very light. I listened to it during a full day trip and it was good while I was walking around and waiting. There are some audio books that need 100% of your attention. This is not one.
For a girl that keeps saying that mermaids are peaceful, she gets angry enough that she wants to get physically violent with people. She does, on a few occasions, though she is just pushing. She’s not a perfect protagonist, which I like…and a lot of people hate. Yes, she’s selfish, narrow-minded, and judgemental. And at the end, she overcomes at least a few of her faults. What’s wrong with that? Still, I will say that along with the narrator of the audiobook, she is so spoiled and angry at everything.
Also, she likes a boy who is a human, and doesn’t know that she’s a mermaid princess. She thinks together they are like this:
But she is actually like this:
The cursing are sea puns. Childs can get around having to censor her work, but it also means that she actually has a mermaid princess swearing frequently. If you put what she actually means instead of the substitute, she’d be swearing constantly, in her head or aloud. If you need some laughs, substitute a “higher level” four letter word in your head, every time she uses a sea pun. It makes for good times, though people on the street will look at you if you’re walking and listening.
I don't know why, but I like the “damselfish” one. Like you’d turn away from the situation and whisper to yourself as though no one could hear you.
The narrator can't do male voices, or secondary female voices. She has one voice, and that belongs to Lily. It gets annoying to listen to the narrator try to drop her voice and be gravelly for the men. Actually, it’s annoying. Also, the girls you hate in high school don't actually have those nasally high voices - we just pretend they do when we talk about them. I would much prefer a natural, though pretentious, voice of the mean girls.
Besmirching of my Name
The bully is named Courtney. She is financially demanding and selfish, slaps her boyfriend, gossips, judges people…all the stupid “girl bully” stuff. Of course, her name is Courtney. That's the go-to name for terrible people. Can we think of a better name? And where did this trend start? I’d like to know.
Read or listen to this because you like mermaids, not for the story. I don’t recommend this for people who dislike characters that are not completely perfect or extremely likeable. Will I listen to the next installment, Fins Are Forever? Maybe. It would make an ok summer pre-teen movie, though there’s way too much underwater mermaid stuff happening for this to ever happen.
Also, I'll just leave this here...and no, I didn't make this.